* The Joys of Winter *

Sat, 05 Mar 2005 17:57:43 GMT

Whatever, bitches!

Thu, 17 Feb 2005 04:58:54 GMT

life is good y'all!

The Dreaded Update...lol

Wed, 05 Jan 2005 05:25:23 GMT

Yes, i have not updated in quite some time...i never really feel the desire i guess. So quickie update...Christmas was a lot of fun, got to be with my family. The break was short, but well spent with Rob and Beth and Amanda. I hung out w/Sher a lot too...she got me hooked on Nip/Tuck, and we also indulged in our Sex and the City addiction. New years was lots of fun! It was my first time to Sakura and i definitely enjoyed it. Being with my friends was very assuring for me.

So today i got contacts finally...i'm really happy that i can see lol...good times. Anyhoo i'm not really feeling like myself lately, i'm just sortof questioning everything...i feel like i go through this cycle every two months. I'll be cool and happy-go-lucky, and then i begin to question all sorts of things about life and love and whatnot.

So this week is going to be a little stressful. My uncle died this past sunday night and i am going to the funeral thursday. I wan't that close with him, but i still feel a sense of loss about the whole thing, naturally. More importantly, i feel really bad for my dad. He was his best friend. But i suppose that is life. I wish i didn't feel so apathetic towards the situation, but all i really feel is jaded, as though oh well, another day, time to move on. I wish i had some sort of emotion about it all. I guess i am just confused.

Anyways...i'm off to get some sleep. I'll be getting up early so i can fool with my contacts...oh boy! lata!

~csta~

Tue, 14 Dec 2004 22:03:28 GMT

Alrighty...since i'm working on my research paper i'll leave this for all "my fans" to fill out *cough* amanda *ahem* hehe anyways have fun!

01. who are you, what's our relationship:
02. how and where did we meet:
03. what's my middle name:
04. how long have you known me:
05. tell me one good thing about myself:
06. when you first saw me what was your impression:
07. my age:
08. birthday:
09. my favorite band at the moment:
10. colour eyes:
11. do i have any siblings:
12. have you ever had a crush on me:
13. what's one of my favorite things to do:
14. do you remember one of the 1st things I said to you:
15. describe me in 3 words:
16. name 5 things i love:
17. do you think i'm good looking:
18. how would you describe me to someone:
19. would you ever date me:
20. tell me one thing you've always wanted to say but never did:
21: what do you like most about me:
22: if we could spend a day together what would we do:
23: have we ever gotten in a fight:
24: do you think we will be friends for at least 3 or 4 more years:
25. Give me a nickname and explain why you picked it.
26. What do you think my weakness is?
27. Do you think I'll get married?
28. What makes me happy?
29. What makes me sad?
30. What reminds you of me?
31. If you could give me anything what would it be?
32. When's the last time you saw me?
33. Do you think our friendship is getting stronger/weaker/or staying the same?
34. Do you feel that you could talk to me about anything and I would listen?
35. Are you going to put this on your livejournal and see what I say about you?
36. If I was an ice cream flavor, which would I be and why?
37. What song (if any) reminds you of me?
38. If you could change one thing about me, what would it be?
39. Would you make a move on me?
40. Do I cross your mind at least 1 time a day? 41. Do you think I'm a raging bitch? LOL

All Good Things Must Come to an End...

Wed, 08 Dec 2004 04:47:32 GMT

Hey everyone! It's been awhile since the last entry! I kindof like waiting though, that way I have something to type about...

So Thanksgiving was great...got to see the family and had a lot of great food! I'm glad everyone else had a good one also. Black Friday went well...it was probably the slowest day of work yet! But yeah the past few weeks have been pretty average...work is the same as always. My evaluation is coming up, so that should be good because I will get a raise ;). Also...fall semester at HCC is coming to a close. It has really been a great experience. My professor was a lot of fun, and I am now looking forward to college more than ever. I am considering taking two classes for spring semester but I am not sure. I have definitely decided on what major I am going into. I'm really excited to learn about business and accounting and all that jazz. I'm having a hard time deciding on college though. My parents are pressuring me to go into a four-year university, but I kindof like it at HCC. If I take two classes this coming semester, and two summer courses, I could already have my first semester knocked out of the way...but I don't know if I'm quite that ambitious, nor do I know what is to come. I suppose I'll take each day at a time.

Anyways...talking to sher and kp so I'll finish updating later...leave some!

One Small Addition!!!

Sat, 27 Nov 2004 03:42:44 GMT

I realized there is one more important thing I am thankful for...in fact this should probably be number one on my list!!!

DIET COKE!!!

hehe! :)

~csta~

Happy Thanksgiving y'all!!!

Fri, 26 Nov 2004 03:04:08 GMT

25 Things I am Thankful For...(feel free to add to the list)

1. The pilgrims for their wonderful idea of binging on food once a year

2. Skittles

3. The little signs in department stores that calculate how much 30% off is for you so that you don't have pull out the calculator on your cell phone.

4. Heated car seats

5. French vanilla cappucino

6. Cute guys

7. Funny guys

8. Well, just guys in general ;)

9. Holiday pay

10. My friends and family :)

11. Pumpkin pie

12. Christmas music

13. Snow

14. The Apprentice

15. Cute shoes

16. No homework

17. Chocolate

18. Romance novels

19. Michael Jones...haha

20. British accents, particularly Jude Law's

21. Love! ;)

22.Christmas lights

23. Yankee Candles

24. Holiday cheer

25. My comfy pants from aero

Happy Thanksgiving Everyone!!!

~csta~

"The Grass isn't Always Greener..."

Mon, 22 Nov 2004 20:51:04 GMT

So a lot has gone on since my last entry!:) Everything is back to normal w/friends which i'm glad! no more drama!;) Anyways...

Last week was a lot of fun! The fashion show was great. I got pics developed if anyone wants to see!!! Modeling Pink Crab was exciting. Everyone looked really good. Definitely good times! I had a good weekend...lol...friday was an adventure, running over a shopping cart, that's a first! Just glad it wasn't my car that was being driven!!! Saturday was fun too, it's been awhile since i'd been to white marsh...

So you know how cliches are usually really annoying. Well too bad, lol. I suppose I learned an important lesson this past week. I thought working somewhere other than kliens would be some amazing experience, but I've realized that I do have a pretty decent job...not too mention I have a raise coming in January!;) I guess it just took another place to make me see how good I have it.

Btw, I hope everyone has a really great Thanksgiving! I myself am truly grateful for all my relationships. Thanks to everyone that has been there for me to laugh with, cry with, and just spend time with. I cherish all the times I have with everyone in my life. I've never felt so complete with my relationships. This year has been a great one so far. I feel really content with where I am right now. When all the pieces finally fit, it makes everything you've been through worthwhile. I've learned a lot from all of my friends and have grown into someone I can honestly respect. Life is good...

~c-sta~

Goodbye to You

Sat, 13 Nov 2004 06:35:58 GMT

Of all the things I've believed in
I just want to get it over with
Tears form behind my eyes
But I do not cry
Counting the days that pass me by

I've been searching deep down in my soul
Words that I'm hearing are starting to get old
It feels like I'm starting all over again
The last three years were just pretend
And I said,

Goodbye to you
Goodbye to everything I thought I knew
You were the one I loved
The one thing that I tried to hold on to

I still get lost in your eyes
And it seems that I can't live a day without you
Closing my eyes and you chase my thoughts away
To a place where I am blinded by the light
But it's not right

Goodbye to you
Goodbye to everything I thought I knew
You were the one I loved
The one thing that I tried to hold on to

And it hurts to want everything and nothing at the same time
I want what's yours and I want what's mine
I want you
But I'm not giving in this time

Goodbye to you
Goodbye to everything I thought I knew
You were the one I loved
The one thing that I tried to hold on to
The one thing that I tried to hold on to

And when the stars fall
I will lie awake...

Trust...la la la la...

Sat, 13 Nov 2004 06:31:10 GMT

Hmm trust? Funny word huh? Isn't it odd how we base most all of our relationships on trust, yet trust is never truly attained from anyone, not even ourselves? These days keep getting crazier and crazier as I find out more about the people I believed I "trusted". Now see, I'm going to be a hypocrite here, because I know that I am not 100% trustworthy, no one is. But oh well, hypocrite I may be, there are certain things you come to expect from your friends, especially the ones you consider to be closest to you. When you make a promise to someone, you come to expect that it will be returned without exception. But I'm beginning to find that maybe it isn't a broken trust among the people you consider closest to you that you should blame for the failure of relationships. Maybe we should blame ourselves for having such high expectations from others we know are not perfect beings, ourselves for example- people that will never always be able to be trusted. However, if I lived with this negative outlook, where would I be? Probably friendless and unhappy. I suppose it isn't expecting others to fail us that is the answer, nor should we expect our friends to always do what is honorable. But shouldn't we be able to have a little peace of mind? Shouldn't we be able to rely on someone we consider our "best friend"?

I consider myself to be a good friend. I'm always willing to be a listening ear or help someone out, so why shouldn't I expect that from my best friend? The one person in the world I should be able to go to when I can't be myself with anyone else. That best friend...someone you feel like is a part of you, has begun to slip through my fingertips. I am beginning to feel as though I am my own best friend. I open myself to others and let them into my heart, but where has that led? The person I haven given myself to has disappointed me greatly. Someone I have devoted time, energy, friendship, trust, and caring to has turned their back on me. So what is the answer? Am I to be bitter and angry and carry a burden of distrust because someone has done me wrong? Of course not. While it is cliche, I do believe that what doesn't kill you will make you stronger. And while the loss of a friendship is never easy or preferable, it does make me a stronger person. I have been through a lot, and this is just another obstacle I will have to face and hopefully make it through with as much ease as possible.

The Colour of My Love

Tue, 09 Nov 2004 16:16:56 GMT

I'll paint my mood in shades of blue
Paint my soul to be with you
I'll sketch your lips in shaded tones
Draw your mouth to my own

I'll draw your arms around my waist
Then all doubt I shall erase
I'll paint the rain that softly lands on your wind-blown hair

I'll trace a hand to wipe out your tears
A look to calm your fears
A silhouette of dark and light
While we hold each other oh so tight

I'll paint a sun to warm your heart
Swearing that we'll never part
That's the colour of my love

I'll paint the truth
Show how I feel
Try to make you completely real
I'll use a brush so light and fine
To draw you close and make you mine

I'll paint a sun to warm your heart
Swearing that we'll never part
That's the colour of my love

I'll draw the years all passing by
So much to learn so much to try

That's the colour of my love...

Change?

Mon, 08 Nov 2004 04:40:54 GMT

Ah where to begin? Let me start by saying I had a pretty good weekend and am looking forward to the week ahead...

Now I'm not sure if I want this journal to be a record of the things I've done throughout the week or some analytical, thought-provoking account of my views. Either way...tonight I'm in the mood to write and here it goes...

So where do I begin with my questions? Lately I've been feeling an extreme need for change. I'm not quite sure where it is coming from, but I'm tired of my routine and not feeling as though I am fulfilling myself completely. What is this sense of risk I feel I need in my life? I quit my job...my job of two years. It is the longest relationship I have had. Why am I leaving it? I feel as though I am breaking up with someone, but I know it shouldn't be as big a deal as I am making it out to be. I guess it is because I am person who is very resistant to change. I'm not a big adventurer and I shy away from taking any risks, as simple as they may be...I order the same three things every time I go to Unos. I think the root of this feeling for change is that I know I need to break out of my shell. I need to find out who I am. I have discovered a lot about myself this past year...good and bad. Unfortunately that is where it ends...I have learned so much about who I am, but I have not changed my ways of living. I feel as though I have caged myself in a dull, daily routine that is not exciting. Don't get me wrong, I love college and my friends and my family. But I need more than that. I want to experience adventure...I want to step outside myself and do something others would not expect. I'm not sure where I'm going, but I know I'm going somewhere. Anyways, if y'all are still reading this, mucho hugs for listening, haha.

Moving on...tired from a long week, so heading to bed in a few. Leave some if ya like.

~csta~

She works hard for the money...

Thu, 04 Nov 2004 19:40:54 GMT

Hehe...welcome to my first LJ entry! Leave me some comments y'all! I had a xanga for a little while, but I never updated that one, and everyone else uses LJ...so i figured I'd join.

Today went pretty well...class was fun, we peer-edited our papers on process analysis...lol i'm sure you all wanted to know that. So listen to this!!! I got hired a week ago to work at JoAnns and I put my two-weeks in at Kliens this past monday...and when i got home from class today Pier One had called for an interview! So i'm thinkin...if Pier One offers more money i might say cya to JoAnns...who knows? Anyways, i thought that was interesting.

Anyways...i suppose i'll update later, gotta go get ready for work. Leave some love!!! <3 <3 <3

*** The Joys of Winter ***

The Dreaded Update...lol

All Good Things Must Come to an End...

One Small Addition!!!

Happy Thanksgiving y'all!!!

"The Grass isn't Always Greener..."

Goodbye to You

Trust...la la la la...

The Colour of My Love

Change?

She works hard for the money...

* The Joys of Winter *